NEW SONGS SINCE PERTH TOP PAISLEY 2 WAS OUT

Here's a truly bad taste two verse version of the "Hibs Song" (Tune the Hearts Song )

Hibs, Hibs, Shìtèy Old Hibs
John Leslie's sure damaged their pride
The Blue Peter goon pulled his troosers right down
And Ulrika had nowhere to hide

She's sold her story, we wrote this song
No point in saying I've done nothing wrong
Some say he's guilty and some shook his hand
But the boy is a goon if if he thinks he is grand

----------------------------

To the tune "Frere Jacques" 

"STEVEN PRESSLEY, STEVEN PRESSLEY
ANDY KIRK, ANDY KIRK
JEAN LOUIS VALOIS, JEAN LOUIS VALOIS
MARK DE VRIES, MARK DE VRIES"

FROM PERTH TO PAISLEY THE HEARTS SONGBOOK Issue 2 (225 songs and chants)

CONTENTS Section 1 - Hearts current songs (23)  songs/chants Section 2 - When will we sing your likes again (53) Section 3 - In Praise of players (27)  songs/chants Section 4 - Chants against other teams (22 )chants Section 5 - Chants against players (14) chants Section 6 - Our friends from leith (34) Section 7 - The Gay Gordons (13) songs/chants Section 8 - Our friends from the west (11) songs/chants Section 9 - Controversial (15) Section 10 - Something NEW ! (10) Section 11 - Poems      ( 3)

The full on-line version will be available soon. In the meantime, this is version 2 of the songbook

 SECTION 1 HEARTS CURRENT SONGS

THE HEARTS SONG 

(Hector Nicol version)

The Hearts song is widely accepted as the Hearts anthem. There are differences of opinion about whether one of the lines goes  "Rangers and Celtic" or "Celtic and Rangers", and this full version is often too long to be a terracing song, which is why we have also included the terracing version which is worthy of inclusion in it's own right.

Away up in Gorgie at Tynecastle Park
There's a wee football team 
that aye makes it's mark
They've won all the honours 
for  footballing arts
And there's nae other team 
to  compare with the Hearts

Chorus

H-E-A-R-T-S
If you cannae spell it then here's what it says
Hearts, Hearts glorious Hearts
It's down at Tynecastle they bide
The talk of the toun are the boys in Maroon
And Auld Reekie supports them with pride.

This is my story this is my song 
Follow the Hearts and you can't go wrong
For some say the Celtic 
and Rangers are grand
but the boys in maroon 
are the best in the land

And national caps we can always supply
like Massey and Walker 
or Bauld and Mackay
if I had the time I could name dozens more
who have helped in producing 
the old Hampden roar.

REPEAT CHORUS

We've won the league flag 
and we've won the league cup
Though we sometimes go down 
we will aye go back up
Our forwards can score and it's 
NO IDLE TALK
our defence is as strong as the old castle rock

REPEAT CHORUS

__________________________________

THE HEARTS SONG (Terracing version)

Give me an H    Give me an E......E
Give me an A    Give me an R......R
Give me an T    Give me an S......S

Hearts Hearts  glorious Hearts
It's down at Tynecastle they bide
The talk of the toun are the boys in Maroon
And Auld Reekie supports them with pride.
This is my story this is my song
Follow the Hearts and you can't go wrong

For some say the Celtic and Rangers are grand
but the boys in maroon are the best in the land
H..E..A..R..T..S If you cannae spell it then here's what it says

_________________________________

HAVE YOU SEEN THE HEART OF MIDLOTHIAN

Have you heard of the Heart of Midlothian
Have you seen them in "Marone"
Have you heard of the Heart of Midlothian
they're the greatest team I know.

We have played in South Morocco
We have played in the USA
But the greatest game in history 
is the game on new years day 

For it's a home for famous heroes 
and their stories have been told
of Alfie Conn and Jimmy Wardhaugh
John Cummings and Willie Bauld

And when my life is over   
And death has left it's mark
You can scatter all my ashes
on the slopes of Tynecastle Park

____________________________________

As released by the club in the Centenary year 1974 with the "Song of Tynecastle" on the other side.

Hurrah, hurrah, we are the Gorgie boys
Hurrah, hurrah, we make a lot of noise
On Saturdays you'll hear us sing 
Tynecastle to Dalry
When we go marchin' thru' Gorgie. 

Walking down the Gorgie Road on a Saturday
Doon to old Tynecastle where the gallant Hearts do play
We've followed them a hundred years
And will a hundred mair
Still we go marchin' thru Gorgie 

CHORUS 

There's Kenny Garland in the goal keepin oot the ba'
Gallagher and Jefferies, 
and there's no a better twa
Bobby Prentice on the wing, 
while Fordie knocks them in
That's what we see at Tynecastle 

Chorus 

instrumental 

Chorus 

Chorus

but last line W-h-e-n w-e g-o m-a-rchin th-r-u  G-o-r-g-i-e

__________________________________

 the SONG OF TYNECASTLE

CHORUS 

We will  raise our voices 
for the team we love 
For the players old and new 
Our standards they are high 
We are reaching for the sky 
To the Hearts we will ever be true 
Let the song of today on this centenary 
A club that is both great and strong 
Though a hundred years have gone
 there's a hundred more to go 
And the Hearts will go marchin on 

CHORUS 

The illustrious names 
we have seen in our team 
Players of skill and reknown 
With their gallant! and faith 
they are the credit to our name 
We're the pride of the capital town 

CHORUS 

CHORUS 

CHORUS

______________________________

WHEN THE HEARTS GO MARCHING IN

This song is very underused around Tynie these days

Oh when the Hearts, go marching in
Oh when the Hearts, go marching in
I wanna be in that number
Oh when the Hearts, go marching in.

____________________________________

A MILLION MILES

Oooooooh Jaaam Tarts, Jaaam Tarts
I'd walk a million miles 
for one of your goals, Oh Jaaam Tarts

(there is a  version which goes "I'd kick a million holes")

____________________________________

We love you Jam Tarts, oh yes we do
We love you Jam Tarts, oh yes we do
We Love you Jam Tarts we do, 
Oh Jam Tarts we love you

___________________________________

THE EUROPEAN SONG (sung to the Frank Sinatra tune "my way")

1984 VERSION

And Now, The end is near
We've followed Hearts from Perth to Paisley
We've travelled far, by bus and car
And other times we've went by railway.
We've been to Aberdeen
We hate the Hibs, they make us spew up.
So make a noise you Gorgie boys      
We're going to Europe.
To See  H - M - F - C
We'll even dig the channel tunnel
When we're afloat on some big boat
We'll tie our scarves around the funnel.
We have no cares, for other players
like Rossi, Boniec, or Tardelli
When we're overseas, 
the hibs will be in Portobelly.

_____________________________

1998 VERSION (same tune)

We all  can laugh at Hibs
When we play Chelsea, Metz or Inter
They'll travel  far, to see Stranraer
and visit Airdrie in the winter.
While Hearts, go marching on
and show the Hibs the way to do it,
they lost at Ayr, and we don't care,
we're going to Europe.
The days, not far away
when we will reach the heights of glory.
We'll follow Hearts through foreign parts
and Gorgie boys will tell the story.
How we scored three, at Napoli
took care of Bierhoff and Vi&ldots;erri
when we're overseas, 
the Hibs will watch us on the telly.

________________________________

IN DUBLINS FAIR CITY

In Dublins fair City 
where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone
As she wheeled her wheelbarrow
Through streets broad and narrow      
Singing (clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap JAM TARTS)

________________________________

DAYDREAM BELIEVER

By the time this goes to print we may have to adjust the first line of the chorus!

Oh I could fly neath the wings 
of the Jambos as they sing
at three o'clock I'm happy as can be
Cos the good time they are hear
and the hibees nowhere near
so listen up and hear the Jam tarts sing

Cheer up ginger tosser 
Oh what can it be
to a sad hibby bastard
and a shite football team.

__________________________________

HELLO HELLO

Hello, Hello we are the Gorgie boys
Hello, Hello you'll know us by our noise
We're up to our knees in hibee blood
Surrender or you'll die
For we are the Gorgie bovver boys.

(of course there is another version to this song which is also popular!)

___________________________________

Sung to the Beatles tune "Hey Jude"

(to be accompanied by lots of scarf waving)

Hey Jude, don't make it bad, 
take a sad song and make it better
remember to let her into your heart, 
then you can start 
to make it better....better....better....better...

na na na na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na Jam Tarts
na na na na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na Jam Tarts

___________________________________

Generally regarded as a sellik song, but sung with gusto in the 1970's

Hail Hail, the Hearts are here
all for goals and glory (f**k your jackanory)
Hail Hail the Hearts are here
All for goals and glory now
For it's a grand old team to go to jail for
and it's a grand old team to pay the bail for
and if you know your history, 
It's enough to make your heart go no surrender.

We  don't care what the hibees say
what the hell do we care, for we only know
that there's gonna be a show and the Edinburgh Jam Tarts will be there.

_________________________________

Forever and ever, we'll follow the boys

The Edinburgh Jam Tarts, The Gorgie Boys
For we will be mastered, by no hibby bastard
We'll keep the Hearts flag flying high&ldots;..

So bring on  the hibs the Celts  the Rangers
Bring on the Spaniards by the score
Barcelona,  Real Mardid, 
WE WILL MAKE A GALLANT BID
For we're out to show the world 
what we can do

(sorry, we don't do the half a quid version)

_________________________________

By the light, (6 claps)
of the silvery moon (6 claps)
We're the talk of the toun (6 claps)
We're the boys in maro-o-n.

repeat

_________________________________

Sung to the tune "It's just one of those songs"

His name is Drew Busby the talk of the north
He comes from Tynecastle just over the forth He drinks all your whisky 
and Newcastle Brown the Gorgie Boys are in town - na na na na na na na na n&ldots;&ldots;&ldots;
the Gorgie boys are in town.

or how about another version of the same song.....

Lock all your windows and bolt all your doors
hide all your daughters and lie on the floors 
Stash all your whisky and Newcastle Brown
the Gorgie Boys are in town -
 na na na na na na na na &ldots;&ldots;.
the Gorgie boys are in town.

Or another version&ldots;.

They've won all the honours in snooker & darts
there's no other team to compare with the Hearts
we've fucked the kilmarnock and dumbarton too
and now were gonna fuck you   na na na na...

__________________________________

 sung to the tune "Guide me O thy great Jehovah"

Heart of Midlothian, F**k off Hibernian
We'll support you evermore
We'll support you evermore

(Sad to say but this song has become recognised as the first one to be sung when the team has been gubbed in a "big" match. Needless to say we have sung it a lot!)

________________________________

Jim Jefferies....Barmy Army
Jim Jefferies....Barmy Army
Jim Jefferies....Barmy Army
Jim Jefferies....Barmy Army

repeat ad nausea

_________________________________

Sung to the song "She'll be coming round the mountain"

If you're proud to be a Jambo clap your hands
If you're proud to be a Jambo clap your hands
if you're proud to be a Jambo proud to be a Jambo
proud to be a Jambo clap your hands 
(loud sustained applause)

(see later in the new section)

___________________________________

SECTION 2 - WHEN WILL WE SING YOUR LIKES AGAIN

Sung to the Queen song "We are the champions"

We are the Jam Tarts my friend
And we'll keep on fighting to the end
We are the Jam Tarts, We are the Jam Tarts
No time for Hibees for we Are the Jam Tarts

________________________________

To the tune "Do a Deer"

Gilles Rousset is in our goal,Lockie wears the captains band
Neil Pointon loves Dahi Bear, Weir's the best man in the land
Salvatori runs the show, Ritchie never lets them go
McCann is bearing down on goal, and Fulton's Baggio-o-o-o

Stephane Adams number nine, Camerons play is always fine
Thomas Flogel's Austrian, Hammy scores goals all the time
Robertsons the ace of Hearts, Jose's tearing them apart
McManus never gets a start, And Fulton's Baggio-o-o-o

__________________________________

 To the tune "I Will Survive"

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking hibs were gonna beat my famous Jambo side
But then I spent so many hours
drinking lager in a pub And then I new
Hearts were the greatest football club
Go on now go, Go Jambos go
put the ball into the net 
and tell the hibbys where to go
They couldn't  beat us if  they played the game all night That's 'cos hibs are dirty, rotten, smelly first division SHITE

________________________________

Sung to   "Those were the days"

We're going to celebrate, we're
going to celebrate
We're going to sell, we're going to celebrate

(a popular variation in the seventies was to change "celebrate" for "sell McQuade". On occasion Linlithgow Hearts change it to Cebelrate in honour of one of our members who sang that all the way home after winning promotion against Arbroath- Cheers Bob!)

____________________________________

I'm dreaming of a white christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
where the treetops glistened and children listened to hear sleighbells in the snow.....

IN THE SNOW

(At this point it all goes a bit punky)

_______________________________

I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air
they fly so high, up in the sky
just like the Hibs they fade and die
Celtic always running, Rangers running too
and so the Hearts supporters we're running after you.

_____________________________

Said a bow-legged chicken to a knock kneed hen
I haven't been so happy since I don't know when
I walk with a wiggle and I wiggle when I walk
we are the Gorgie boot boys
with a na na na na na n na na na na na na,
na na na na na na na - 

we are the Gorgie boot boys

__________________________________

The northern lights of old Aberdeen   

mean sweet f**k all to me
The northern lights of Aberdeen
mean sweet f**k all to me.
I've been a Hearts fan all of my life
And many a sight i've seen
but the northern lights of Aberdeen
mean sweet f**k all to me!

__________________________________

Show them the way to go home
They're tired and they want to go to bed
For they're only half a football team
and the other half is dead.

__________________________________

GLORY GLORY GLORY (To the tune of a Blue Mink song)

Glory Glory Glory, listen to the band
we're the Embra Jam Tarts
best team in the land.

__________________________________

Can you hear the Hearts fans sing - yo yo      
Can you hear the Hearts fans sing - yo yo 
can you hear the Hearts fans sing
You're gonna get your heads kicked in yo yo 

_________________________________

Can you hear the hibs fans sing - no no 
Can you hear the hibs fans sing - no no 
Can you hear the Hibs fans sing
I can't hear a f**king thing - yo yo

_______________________________

Sung to the tune "Polly Wolly Doodle"

Oh it's all gone quiet over there
Oh it's all gone quiet over there
Oh it's all gone quiet, all gone quiet, 
all gone quiet over there

(or alternatively)

Can you sing a wee bit louder over there     
Can you sing a wee bit louder over there
Can you sing a wee bit louder, 
sing a wee bit louder
sing a wee bit louder over there - 
if you can - CAN YOU F**k!

_________________________________

Wherever we go (wherever we go)
people wanna know (people wanna know)
Who we are (who we are), 
shall we tell 'em (shall we tell 'em)
We are the Hearts we are the Hearts we are we are we are the Hearts.

_________________________________

E IEIEIO, off to the football we will go
When we win promotion, this is what we'll sing
knees up knees up, got to get a breeze up, Robertson is king
Oh my what a rotten song, what a rotten song, what a rotten song
Oh my what a rotten song, what a rotten singer too!

__________________________________

We will follow Jam Tarts over land & sea
we will follow Jam Tarts onto victory....2,3,4
repeat (louder)

__________________________________

Jam Tarts Jam Tarts give us a wave, give us a wave, give us a wave,Jam Tarts Jam Tarts give us a wave, give us a wave.

(this was early 80's and followed by loud boo's when the players didn't respond with a wave before the kick off)

__________________________________

Gorgie wave, Gorgie wave Gorgie wave, 
Gorgie wave, Gorgie wave, Gorgie wave.

(whatever happened to that?)

___________________________________

You're not very good, you're not very good
 You're not very , you're not very
 You're not very good.

 ___________________________________

We are the Jam Tarts, The super JamTarts
We hate the Hibees, Cos they are scum
We are the greatest Team in Scotland
We are Heart of Midlothian

 __________________________________

 His name is Gary Wales 
 and he's the leader of the team 
 the greatest centre forward the world has ever seen
 he's always in the centre  he's always scoring goals 
 and as for Kenny Miller  you can stick him up your  hole.

 ___________________________________

Drink, Drink....
Drink, drink, wherever you may be,
We are the drunk and disorderly,
but we don't give a shit, 
and we don't give a fuck,
we came home with the  Scottish Cup!"

__________________________________

You are my Jam Tarts My only Jam Tarts
You make me happy, When skies are grey,
You'll never know just how much I love you, So please don't take my Jam Tarts...Away

____________________________

We hate Glasgow Rangers
We hate Celtic too
We hate the fucking hibees
But Jam Tarts we love you

_________________________________

(Replace Hibees with any team you are playing against)

Away in a manger, no crib for a bed, 
the little Lord Jesus stood up and he said... 

WE HATE  HIBEES AND WE HATE  HIBEES, WE HATE HIBEES AND WE HATE HIBEES, WE ARE THE HIBEE HATERS...

____________________________________

Said Bertie Mee to Bill Shankly
Have you heard of the North Bank Highbury
Shanks says no, I don't think so
but I've heard of the Gorgie Boot boys.
(optional) : with a na na na na na na na       
na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na
We are the Gorgie boot boys.

or how about this version.....

Said Bertie Mee to Bill Shankly
Have you heard of Michele Platini
Shanks says no, I don't think so
but I've heard of the youg boy Robbo.
(optional) : with a na na na na na na na        
na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na
We are the Gorgie boot boys.

________________________________

This is a classic from the 70's.

If you go down to the woods today
you're sure of a big surprise
if you go down to the woods today
you'll never believe your eyes
For Jeremy the sugar puff bear 
is putting on braces and cropped his hair
and now he's off to join the Gorgie boot boys 

  ________________________________    

Sung to the tune " Gin Gan Goolie" (or possibly "a Ramones song "Beat on the Brat"?)

Hit him on the head, hit him on the head
hit him on the head with a baseball bat 
- oh yeah, oh yeah

See how he goes, see how he goes
See how he goes with a broken nose, 
- Oh yeah, oh yeah.

Of course the drunker you are the more variations of the tune you can find!

__________________________________

Sung to the Cozy Powell song "Na Na Na"

When Eammon was young, his ma said to he
When you grow up son, what you gonna be?
you gonna play for Hibees & stay as you are
Are you gonna play for Jam Tarts and be a superstar singing   a na na na na, na na na    

__________________________________

Sung to the tune "She'll be coming round the mountain". The first verse is sung in a high pitched voice, the second in a very deep "hard man"  voice

We're the best behaved supporters in the land
We're the best behaved supporters in the land
We're the best behaved supporters, 
best behaved supporters
best behaved supporters in the land 

(when we win).

We're a right shower of bastards when we lose (or draw)
We're a right shower of bastards when we lose (or draw)
We're a right shower of bastards, 
right shower of bastards
right shower of bastards when we lose (or draw).

_________________________________

Sung to the tune PERFECT DAY

Just a perfect day, bovril at Tynecastle Park
and then later when it gets dark
Mickey scores
Just a perfect day
Put Celtic fans in the zoo
And later goal number two - and then home

Oh it's such a perfect day, 
I'm so glad I support you
Oh such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on

Just a perfect day
Problems are left alone
Hibs are down on their own
It's such fun!!!!!!!!

Just a perfect day
You made me forget myself
I thought I was someone else-we'd scored 2

Oh it's such a perfect day, I'm so glad I support you
Oh such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on

_________________________________

To the tune of "Hi-Lo Silver Lining':

You're everywhere and nowhere Alan,
That's where you are !
When Sandy Clarke and Ian Jardine,
Fire just below the bar !
But the favourite is the wee man, Robbo -
As he knocks one home,
But you've even missed a looping header ...
Nodded in by JIMMY BONE !

And it's ...

High, Low, Balls fly past him - 
And it's Alan Rough, (Poor Alan)
Each time Hearts stuff the Hibees,
And he's had enough,
(Oh yes, it's obvious !)

To go and see the Edinburgh Derby,
It's great if you're a Jam Tarts fan,
And afterwards the celebrations,
As only Hearts fans can !
For comedy there's Fulton and Hunter ...
Nine other jokers too !

At half time there's the entertainment ...
From the monkey's out of Edin-burgh Zoooooo, 

and it's ...

High, Low, Balls fly past him - 
And it's Alan Rough, (Poor Alan)
Each time Hearts stuff the Hibees,
And he's had enough, (Oh yes, it's obvious !)

________________________________

"Hibees" 2000

Now we don't play in the same league as each other
And how we giggled as we watched you go under
You are Hibernian... Hibernian
not Heart of Midlothian

And we said that if you stayed up
You'd still be shite, and not win a cup
But you never did it
Cause you were so crap at it

Oh Hibbies do you recall
Your crowds were very small
You couldn't beat us at all
And with Robbo on the ball
It was more than twenty games in all... and I said..

Let's all meet up in the Year 2000
It might have to be a friendly game
Cause New Year's Day's 
not going to be the same
Who would have thought you'd play your derbies
Over in Fife, or maybe Almondvale
In a lower league with half your team for sale

Where are you playing now, you tossers?
Are you about to fire another boss, yeah?
We won't even say "Wayne Foster!"

Ooooh.... ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

_________________________________

This is another classic supporters club song, sung as you are arriving in some small unsuspecting town before the game

Gorgie Boys we are here, yoooh yoooh
Gorgie Boys we are here, yoooh yoooh
Gorgie boys we are here
Shag your women and drink your beer yoooooooh

________________________________

Sung to the tune "When Johnny Comes Marching Home" (circa 1976)

When Jimmy goes up to lift the cup, hurrah hurrah
When Jimmy goes up to lift the cup, hurrah 
When Jimmy goes up to lift the cup, 
We'll all be there and we'll sing like f**k
with a  na na na na na na na na na na.

_________________________________

If you've got plenty time on your hands, we used to sing this song from start to finish and it is really good in front of an audience with the hand movements.

We've got Henry Hands number one (wave hands in the air)
We've got Henry Hands number one
We've got Henry Hands number one
We've got the best team in the land

We've got Zico Kidd number two 
We've got Zico Kidd number two
We've got Zico Kidd number two             
We've got the best team in the land

We've got (whistling noise) Whittaker number 3 
we've got (whistling noise) Whittaker number  3
We've got (whistling noise) Whittaker number 3 
We've got the best team in the land

We've got SSssssssandy Jardine  number four     
We've got SSssssssandy Jardine  number four
We've got SSssssssandy Jardine  number four
We've got the best team in the land

We've got Chuck Berry number five (pretend to strum guitar)
We've got Chuck Berry number five
We've got Chuck Berry number five
We've got the best team in the land

We've got Classy Craigie number six  (run your fingers sexily through your hair)
We've got Classy Craigie number six 
We've got Classy Craigie number six
We've got the best team in the land

A fine wee lad, a bonnie wee lad is bonnie wee Johnny Colquhoun, he scored against United and we were over the moon. He put the ball past Thompson 'cos he's a f**king goon
I am a Hearts fan, this is a Hearts fans tune.

We've got The wee black bastard  number eight
We've got The wee black bastard  number eight    
We've got The wee black bastard  number eight
We've got the best team in the land

We've got Puff Candy number nine  (imitate smoking  cigarette)
We've got Puff Candy number nine 
We've got Puff Candy number nine 
We've got the best team in the land

We've got the Centre Spot number ten   (point to Haymarket area)
We've got the Centre Spot number ten 
We've got the Centre Spot number ten
We've got the best team in the land

We've Robbo Robbo Robbo Robbo Robbo Robbo Robertson
John Robertson, John Robertso...o..n

__________________________________

 Sung to the song "My old mans a dustman"

Kruschev came to Britain, 2nd time he'd been
He met Sir Winston Churchill, he even met the queen
And when his time was over he was to be recalled
He said I cannae go now 'cos I've not met Willie Bauld

Oh my old man's a Hearts fan,he wears a Hearts fans hat
He hates the f**king hibees, now what do you think of that? 

________________________________

Sung to the Bobbie Gentry song "I'll never fall in love again"

What do you get when you drink the wine
a ten pound fine and a years probation
a kicking from the pigs in the polis station
Oooh,  I'll never drink the wine again

________________________________

Ay ay ay ay  Cruikshank is better then Yashin
Ernie is better than Eusebio
And the hibees are in for a bashing

________________________________

There's only one United
and that's a f**king biscuit

Sung it in the Manchester City club to great applause in 1981

__________________________________

There is a team in Scotland,  their colours are marone
they've got the finest centre the world has ever known
you talk about your Reilly's your Ormonds and them all
but you want to hear the crowd roar  when King Willie gets the ball.

Crown Willie Bauld the king of Scotland
Crown Willie Bauld the king of Scotland
Crown Willie Bauld the king of Scotland 
(and Gordon Smith the queen)

__________________________________

Sung to the tune "my darling Clementine"

O my darling, o my darling O my darling Willie Bauld
You're the idol of Tynecastrle You're my darling Willie Bauld

Hibs have Ormond and they've Gordon And they've Lawrie Reilly too
But you're the idol of Tynecastle You're my darling Willie Bauld

_________________________________

This song was widely used in the division 1 days against opposing teams who had big home supports, but only brought a handful to Tynecastle.

Did you come to Tynecastle, did you f**k?
Did you come to Tynecastle, did you f**k?
Did you come to Tynecastle,
come to Tynecastle, 
come to Tynecastle - did you f**k ......shiters!

________________________________

Sung to the tune "on top of old smokey"

There's a team at Tynecastle They play in maroon
They have a young centre in a class of his own
Now come all ye faithfull, come listen to me
I'll tell you a story, that will fill you with glee

The hibs they will wither, the Rangers will die
And down at Tynecastle, the league flag will fly
We'll try for the Scottish, the league cup too
With Bauld in the centre, we'll win them all

__________________________________

This wee chant is very versatile, as the Hearts fans adapted it in such a way that we could sing in even though we were getting thrashed!

So f**king easy, 
oh this is so f**king easy, 
so f**king easy, 
oh this is so f**king easy.

A variation is to sing boring instead of easy (especially when you're playing Dundee U)

________________________________

We're going up. you're going down, 
we're gonna wreck your f**king town

We're going to rape, we're going to pillage, 
we're gonna wreck your f**king village

________________________________

We'll see you all outside, 
we'll see you all outside
We'll see you all, we'll see you all outside.

_________________________________

What about the old favourite vs Aberdeen?

Sheep shagging bastards, you're only sheep shagging bastards

________________________________

Another good one for Aberdeen 

To the "Hello Hello" tune, sing the whole song singing "ba 

________________________________

Sung after being relegated in 1976/77 to the hibs fans, to the Wombles tune "remember you're a womble"

We'll be back to get you, we'll be back to get you"

__________________________

Jam Tarts here, Jam Tarts there
Jam Tarts every fucking where
Na na na na na na na na na 

___________________________________

They dive, they fall, 
their goalposts are too small, 
Majorca, Majorca

__________________________

SECTION 3 -  IN PRAISE OF PLAYERS

Who put the ball in the Hibees net, 
Robbo, Robbo,
Who put the ball in the Hibees net, 
Johnny Robertson
Johnny Robertson (ONCE)
Johnny Robertson (TWICE)
Who put the ball in the Hibees net,
Johnny Robertson 

________________________________

To the Hokey Cokey tune

Ooooh Anti Anti Niemi
Ooooh Anti Anti Niemi Ooooh Anti Anti Niemi
That's what he's all about

_______________________________

Go Bobby go Bobby go Bobby go Bobby Go go go.....

_________________________________

Sung to the tune  "Noel, Noel"

Flo-o-gel, Flo-o-gel, Flo-o-gel, Flogel
He wears number fourteen
He's Taam Flogel

_______________________________

Hee Haw, hee Haw, Hee Haw

How anybody could be inspired by fans calling him a donkey I don't know, but it did 

________________________________

Moose, Moose Moose, Moose

Remember Husref Musemic??

_________________________________

Zico, Zico, Zico. 

My hero

________________________________

We all agree, Eamon Bannon is magic 

__________________________________

Wayne Wayne Super Wayne, Wayne Wayne Super Wayne, Wayne Wayne Super Wayne, super Wayne Foster

I'm sure Charlie Hogg was the only one who ever sung this! It also was sung about Maurice Johnston

_________________________________

We've got Bobby Bobby Bobby Bobby Prentice on the wing, on the wing

Bobby, Oh Bobby Prentice, Oh Bobby Prentice on the wing.

Also applies to Willie Johnston

_________________________________

Sung to the song "Karma Chameleon"

Robbo Robbo Robbo Robbo Robbo Robbo Robertson

John Robertson, John Robertso...o..n

 __________________________

Six feet two, eyes of blue

Big Don Murray's after you

___________________________________

You are my Jackson, my Darren Jackson
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know just how much I love you
Please don't take my Jackson away!

Thanks, Graham!

______________________________

Oh John Colquhoun, Oh John Colquhoun
Oh you can hear the Hearts fans sing
With big Sandy in the middle, and wee John to knock them in.

______________________________

Shuggie Shuggie Shuggie

Shaw Shaw Shaw

______________________________

Oh Mikey Mikey 
Mikey Mikey Mikey Mikey Galloway

Also applies to Malky Robertson, John Robertson and Mickey Cameron

_______________________________

There's only one Stephane Adam
There's only one Stephane Adam
Walking along, Singing a song
Walking  in an Adam wonderland

Also applies to Johnny Millar and Thomas Flogel

________________________________

He's fat, he's round
He bounces on the ground
Jimmy Bone, Jimmy Bone!

_______________________________

He's here, he's there he's every fucking where Kenny Aird, Kenny Aird 

___________________________________

 to the tune of that "glory glory man utd" 

Gary Locke is gonna do you
Gary Locke is gonna do you
Gary Locke is gonna do you
And you'll never walk again!

__________________________________

Jimmy Cant (YES HE CAN)
Jimmy Cant (YES HE CAN)

__________________________________

Or the tune of Laurel and Hardy

Donald Ford Donald Ford
Give us a goal, Give us a goal

_________________________________

There was a song when Eamon Bannon left for Chelsea (tune Elvis Costello)

Oh no Parker made me.
I dont want to go to Chelsea.

__________________________________

Scotland Scotland's number one,
Scotland's number one

Jim Cruickshank, Henry Smith (briefly), Nicky Walker (believe it or not).

Or how about 
Finland Finland's number 1,
Finland's number 1

___________________________________

Nice one Davie, nice one son, nice one Davie, let's have another one

Davie Bowman after one of his "specials" at fester road. Also applies to Gary (Mackay) and Kenny (Aird)

_________________________________

Oh Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey.

_________________________________

Juanjo, Juanjo - Juanjo Juanjo

___________________________________

SECTION 4 - SONGS & CHANTS (AGAINST OTHER TEAMS)

How about this for a  wee tubby goalie  whenever he takes a goal kick, not going:

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwooooooooooooOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

but rather:

yyyyyoooooOOOOOOUUUUUUU   FAT BASTARD! 

______________________________

You're so shite it's unbelievable ...

________________________________

We'll meet again, don't know where
Don't know when, but I know we'll meet again some sunny day

Could be any team when they are relegated

________________________________

Youre going to get 
What the fucking hibees got

_________________________________

You're going home in a St Johns ambulance

_________________________________

What's it like to see a crowd ...

_________________________________

Come in a taxi,
you must have come in a taxi...

_________________________________

Score in a brothel, you couldn't score in a brothel...

________________________________

What a waste of money ...

_________________________________

What a load of rubbish&ldots;

__________________________________

Come and have a go with the gorgie aggro

__________________________________

Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough

__________________________________

Get intae them  (we're over here)

__________________________________

If you're all going to (place), clap you hands...

_________________________________

You're supposed to be at home...

__________________________________

Part time supporters...
You're only part time supporters

___________________________________

We thought you were shite, 
we were right, we were right ...

__________________________________

What's it like to follow shite, what's it like to
what's it like to, what's it like to follow shite?

__________________________________

Celtic Celtic, get tae fuck, Celtic get tae fuck

Any team (or referee) will do

 ___________________________________

We can see you sneaking out
We can see you sneaking out

____________________________________

What a shitey home support
What a shitey home support

____________________________________

wrong fucking end,
your at the wrong fucking end

(aimed at the cameramen usually)

____________________________________

SECTION 5 - CHANTS (AGAINST OTHER PLAYERS)

Duffy (or Charnley) the baldy bastard
has a very shiny head
and if you ever saw him
you would even say it glows

__________________________________

Hello Hello we are the Gorgie Boys
Hello Hello you'll know us by our noise
We are all f**king starving 
and I will tell you why
'cos Paul Gascoigne's eaten all the pies!

_________________________________

(before he came to Hearts)

Jail jail jail your Mo
Jail jail jail your Mo
Jail jail jail your Mo
Jail your Maurice Johnston

__________________________________

(again, before he came to Hearts!)

Pettigrew wank wank wank
Pettigrew wank wank wank

__________________________________

Oh shitey shitey
Shitey shitey shitey shitey Galloway

__________________________________

Frank McGarvey's wife's a whore
Frank McGravey;s wife's a whore

__________________________________

Hamish is a poofy name, poofy name, 
Hamish is a poofy name, he's a poofy bastard.

_________________________________

Argentina, Argentina, Argentina&ldots;&ldots;..

__________________________________

Harper's a barrel, harper's a barrell of shite

_________________________________

 He's fat, he's round
His team is going down
Jimmy Bone, Jimmy Bone!

 ________________________________

So fucking ugly, oh you are so fucking ugly

Any player, but Davie Dodds started it off

 _______________________________

 Fat tory bastard, 
 He's just a fat tory Bastard

 Yes, we did sing this

 Now we sing this&ldots;..

 Who sold all the players, who sold all the players
 You fat bastard, you fat bastard, you sold all the players

 ______________________________

Joe Harper's as fat as he's funny
the hibs spent a barrel of money
he wears green and white
he's just a wee shite bye bye joey

The Hibees have spent a lot of money
Joe Harpers fat and he's funny
built like a tank, plays like a Wank
wee fat Joe 

 _______________________________

SECTION 6 - OUR NEIGHBOURS FROM LEITH

A row, a row, oh it's 100 years in a row
A row, a row, oh it's 100 years in a row.
Oh they've won the league cup 
And we don't give a fuck 
Cos it's 100 years in a row.

A row, A row, Oh it's 100 years in a row
A row, a row, oh it's 100 years in a row.
Oh their cupboards are bare 
there's no silverware
Oh it's 100 years in a row.

_________________________________

Jingle bells Jingle Bells 
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to f**k 
the Hibs on New Years day

________________________________

Cheer up Jim Duffy, Oh what can  it be
to a sad Hibee bastard,
and a shite football team

repeat....

_________________________________

Robbo the greatest scored the goal
that beat the f**king Hibees
And off he went with a trumpety trump
Trump trump trump

______________________________

Sung to the tune "Michael row  the boat"

Send the hibees to Vietnam, Hallelujah
Send the hibees to Vietnam, Hallelujah
Peter Cormack's a f**king poof, Hallelujah
Peter Cormack's a f**king poof, Hallelujah

Or a more up to date rendition

Send the hibees to Bosnia, Hallelujah
Send the hibees to Bosnia, Hallelujah

Yogi Hughes is a f**king poof, Hallelujah
Yogi Hughes is a f**king poof, Hallelujah

__________________________________

Sung to the tune "Singing the blues"

I never felt more like sinking the booze
When Robbo scores and the Hibees lose
Oh Robbo, you've got me sinking the booze

_________________________________

In your easter road slums 
In your easter road slums
you rake in the buckets for something to eat
you find a dead rat and you think its a treat
in your easter road slums

_________________________________

Or the wurzels classic (una paloma blanca??)

We hate the fuckin hibees
We hate them all of the day
We hate the fuckin hibees
We chase all the bastards away
Oh ay ay ay ah (???)

________________________________

Sung to the tune "three lions "

You're going down, you're going down, you're going
Hibs are going down, they're going down

_________________________________

To the tune of Bye Bye Blackbird:

The Hearts are at the top And the hibs are going down
Bye Bye Vermin.

Jacko's gonna score
And Wales'll get some more
Bye Bye Vermin.

The Hearts will do all right
and the hibs are F****N' S***E!
Bye Bye Vermin." 

_______________________________

Sung to the tune "ten green bottles"

Ten f**king hibees sitting on the wall
Ten f**king hibees sitting on the wall
Ten f**king hibees sitting on the wall        
And if one f**king hibee should actually fall
There'll be nine f'ing hibbys sitting on the wall

(This was usually sung on the bus back from Aberdeen as everyone really has to be well "oiled" to sing the song the whole way through!)

___________________________________

Sung to the riff "Good to be back" (Gary Glitter)

Happy New Year Happy New Year Hello, Hello.Happy New Year, Happy New Year,
Hello, Hello

__________________________________

If you hate the f**king Hibees clap your hands
If you hate the f**king Hibees clap your hands
If you hate the f**king Hibees
hate the f**king Hibees
hate the f**king hibees clap your hands 

(loud applause required after this one)

____________________________________

Sung to the tune "Go West" by Pet Shop Boys (or Village People)

Stand up if you hate Hibees, Stand up if you hate Hibees
Stand up if you hate Hibees, Stand up if you hate Hibees

(remember, at this point you are expected to stand up, or risk  being called a hibby lover!)

__________________________________

Sung to the same tune as above and the song has it's best effect when sung over and over again - loudly

Away, we f**king hate Hibees, Away we f**king hate Hibees
Away, we f**king hate Hibees, Away we f**king hate Hibees

__________________________________

Sung to the tune "Bring back my Bonnie"

If I had the wings of a sparrow
and the dirty backside of a crow
I'd fly over Easter Road tomorrow   
and shite on the bastards below, below
shite on, shite on, shite on the bastards below

_________________________________

Sung to the tune "Seasons in the sun" 

We had joy we had fun we had hibees on the run   
but the fun didn't last cos the bastards ran too fast.

We threw sticks we threw stones, we broke all the bastards bones
but the fun didn't last 'cos the bastards ran too fast.

_________________________________  

Eddie Turnbull had a farm E I E I O
Eddie Turnbull had a farm E I E I O
And on that farm he had some pigs E I E I O
Stanton here, Schaedler there , 
hibby bastards everywhere

___________________________________

Agadoo do do, Hibees one the Jam Tarts two
Agadoo do do, Hibees one the Jam Tarts two

___________________________________

Oh I love to go a wandering, 
along the cliffs of dover And if I see hibee there, 
I'll push the bastard over 

_______________________________

He's gay he's bent, his arse is up for rent
Mickey Weir, Mickey Weir

________________________________

Sung to the tune "Do Ray Me"

Joe's a queer, so's Mickey Weir
And Roughie likes a Caughey up his bum.

(I'm sure there's more, but it's all I can remember)

_________________________________

Sung whenever an opposition player is poleaxed and requiring treatment

Glory Glory what a hell of a way to die
Glory Glory what a hell of a way to die
Glory Glory what a hell of a way to die
To die a hibee bastard

____________________________________

Sung to the tune "this old man"

H...I...B       E....R...N    I...A...N
the muppet men, na na na na na na na na na  

or another version

My old, he told me, Paddy Stantons got V D
with a nick nack paddy wack, give a dog a bone
send these hibee bastards home

__________________________________

Hi..bernian, Hi..biernian,
You're the shite of Edinburgh
You're the shite of Edinburgh

____________________________________

Relegation to the hibees, 
relegation to the hibees
relegation to the hibees, 
as the Hearts go marching on on on.

__________________________________

Sung to the Who tune "My Generation"

We all know you're going down (Talkin 'bout your relegation)
It's the best thing to happen in town (talkin 'bout your relegation)
It's great to say goodbye and no'one here is going to cry
talking 'bout your relegation
your relegation, your relegation, yeah!

_______________________________

And in true "Tiswas" style

Easter Road.....compost corner
Easter Road.....compost corner

_______________________________

Another one to the Gary Glitter Hello Hello riff (Useful against Celtic too)

Green and white shite, green and white shite....hello hello

______________________________

Yogi Hughes is illegitimate
He's not got a birth certificate
He's got aids and can't get rid of it
Dirty hibee bastard

______________________________

A nice wee tune to a popular xmas carol

Can you hear the Hearts fans sing, the hibees ran away
And Alex Miller and his muppet men got f**ked on New Years Day.

______________________________

There were words to the Stranglers song "No More Heroes" but I can only remember a bit

No more hibees anymore, we f**k the bastards by the score
Whatever happened to all the hibees.......?

______________________________

Ni&ldots;.E&ldots;.Mi He told me, 
Yogi Hughes has got VD With a nick nack paddy wack give a dog a bone
Send those hibee bastards home

One fine day, up in Leith
Frank Sauzee has got no teeth
With a  nick nack paddy wack give a dog a bone 
Send those hibee bastards home

___________________________________

SECTION 7 - THE GAY GORDONS

Following a newspaper report that hibs were setting up a gay fans web-site, the Hearts fans went a little over the top at the next derby match. Here's some of the songs they sung that day. This was a one-off, so let's not have the PC brigade on their high horse please!

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
Hearts are heterosexual 
and the hibs are f***ing gay  

____________________________________

 It's magic, you know, 
hibees and females don't go

____________________________________

Send your females over here, 
send your females over here

___________________________________

They've won the league cup and we don't give a fuck, cos it's 98 QUEERS in a row

___________________________________

He's gay, he's bent, his legs are heaven sent
Kenny Miller, Kenny Miller

___________________________________

Stand up if you like pussy
Stand up if you like pussy

___________________________________

(Last line of the European song)

"We have no cares for f***ing queers"

___________________________________

No poofs in Gorgie, 
oh there are no poofs in Gorgie

___________________________________

hibs are gay, hibs are gay, hibs are gay
hibs are gay, hibs are gay, hibs are gay

___________________________________

Cheer up ginger whinger oh what can it be
to a sad hibby bastard and a gay football team

___________________________________

Cheer up Ginger Tosser
oh what can it mean
to a sad hibby bastard and some queer
football queens (lisp the S') 

______________________________

gay gay Frank Sauzee
gay gay Frank Sauzee
gay gay Frank Sauzee he is very..gay
(repeat continuously until he  loses the plot)

_______________________________

Applies to any  player to the Robin Hood tune

Anyone, Anyone  takes it up the arse
Anyone, Anyone  takes it up the arse
get him in a taxi, he'll take it up the jacksie
Anyone, Anyone.

______________________________

SECTION 8 - OUR FRIENDS FROM THE WEST

Glasgow Rangers, Glasgow Rangers, 
you're not fit to wear the sash
you're not fit to wear the sash

__________________________________

More tims than Celtic, 
oh you've got more Tims than Celtic
More tims than Celtic, 
oh you've got more Tims than Celtic

___________________________________

No Soap in Glasgow, 
oh there is no soap in Glasgow
No Soap in Glasgow, 
oh there is no soap in Glasgow

___________________________________

Sing in your chapels, 
you only sing in your chapels
sing in your chapels, 
you only sing in your chapels

___________________________________

To the tune "The Fields of Athenry"

Look at that sad, Shower of bigots from Glasgow
That only sing about Ireland.

We don't need a pope or a queen 
to sing about our footballing team
Only Celtic and Rangers are that sad.

____________________________________

A versatile one...

There'll be no huns/tims in Europe
Oh there'll be no huns/tims in Europe

____________________________________

Not too relevant nowadays but good enough in the Souness days

Dirty English bastards Dirty English bastards

It's better than the Celtic version which was

Dirty fenian bastards Dirty.fenian bastards

___________________________________

Hello Hello, how do you do?
we hate the boys in royal blue
we hate the orange and the green
so stuff the pope and stuff the queen.

_________________________________

The hills are alive with the sound of.....
John Greigs' a bastard

__________________________________

What's it like to have a wash
What's it like to have a wash?

__________________________________

SECTION  9 - CONTROVERSIAL

As I was slowly walking by Tynecastle Park one day
I stopped just for a moment to see the Jam Tarts play
Alone a man was standing I stopped and asked him why
He said we are the Gorgie boys surrender or you'll die

__________________________________

Sung to the "Sparrow Song"

He's only a poor little hibby His shirt was all tattered and torn
He started to sing, so I filled the twat in And now he don't sing anymore.

_________________________________

Who's that man with the helmet on Dixon, Dixon
Who's that man with the helmet on, Dixon of Dock Green.
On the beat all day, On the wife all night
Who's that man with the helmet on, Dixon of Dock green?

_________________________________

YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE

You may be surprised, but up to 1976 Hearts fans sung this song as well as anybody. For goodness sake, it even mentions Hearts in the chorus!

Walk on, with hope in your Hearts, and you'll never walk alone
you'll never walk alone, walk on, walk on

_________________________________

Essentially a Rangers song, but sung with gusto in the old days   "Wandering Star"

I was born under a union Jack,
I was born under a union jack
do you know where hell is, hell is easter road
heaven is Tynecastle where the hibees shat their load.

_______________________________

We're going to Ibrox to have sone fun
when they see us they're sure to run
chase them round the terracing
we are the Gorgie boot boys

_________________________________

Who's your father , who's your father
who's your father referee
you havnae got one, havnae got one
you're a bastard referee

 or

__________________________________

who's the bastard in the black
who's the bastard in the black

or

_________________________________

who's the wanker in the black 
who's the wanker in the black

or

_________________________________

Dallas Dallas, get tae fuck Dallas, get tae fuck

____________________________________

(To the tune of whistle while you work: When the bus drives past a good looking girl)

Get it up you while yer young
Get it up you while yer young
Cause when yer old yer balls get cold
Get it up you while your young

______________________________

Or the banana splits song (from TV show)

One hibee, two hibee, three hibee four
kick a fuckin hibee to the floor
kick him in the balls and
kick him in the head
kick him once more make sure he's dead
na na na, na na na na  na na ...

________________________________

Another (Not sure words all correct and do'nt know name of tune)

When you gonna bring the good times  back to Gorgie
When ya gonna see the sands upon the shore
Cause Gorgie will be fine
In the good old summer time
If only your a Gorgie Billy boy 

__________________________________

In recent years, the traditional Rangers anthem has been sung in and around Tynecastle with the words modified a bit. Not my cup of tea.

Follow, follow we will follow Jam Tarts anywhere everywhere, we will follow on
Dundee, Hamilton, Partick or the Vatican
If they go to Dublin we will follow on.
There's not a team like the Embra Jam Tarts
No not on, no not one.
The hibees know all about their troubles
we will fight till the day is won.

________________________________

Sung with gusto before the 1976 cup final

There'll be no holy water in the cup
There'll be no holy water in the cup
There'll be no holy water, no holy water
No holy water in the cup

_________________________________

SECTION 10 - SOME NEW? IDEAS

We're not claiming any originality for any of the tunes, or even the lyrics, only the slight variations we have given which give it the Hearts flavour.

________________________________

Come on, you lot! This song is made for singing at the footy. 

so when i`m lying in my bed thoughts of  Tynie in my head
wishing everyone was dead i`m loving jam tarts instead

And through it all the have a new directionA European connection
The Jambos sing their song
And win or fall Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call
They won't forsake me
I'm loving Jam Tarts instead

___________________________________

to the tune "you are my sunshine"

He's Colin Cameron, the Jambo's captain, 
He made us happy, 16th of May, 
He scored the spotkick
that made the huns/gers sick 
Please don't take my Jam Tarts away. 

He's Stephane Adam, monsieur not madame, 
He made us happy, 16th of May, 
Left Amaruso to play subutteo, 
Please don't take my Jam Tarts away. 

_________________________________

A touch of "sing your own songs" here - but it rhymes&ldots;.

Oh  nineteen - O - two
No scottish cup out on display  
No land and no stand            
22 games was grand              
Everyday is the 16th of May     

______________________________

To the tune of 5000 Miles by the Proclaimers (how ironic)

It has been 100 years and it will be 100 more
till the hibs will see the cup once more
and the Hearts fans the are laughing all the way Ha Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha Ha etc

It's a beginning - ed!

_____________________________

To the tune my old man's a dustman

We are Hearts supporters We're Gorgie Boys for life
We hate the fucking old firm And all that's north of Fife
But when we see a hibeee It has to end in tears
They haven't won the Scottish Cup Now in a HUNDRED YEARS

__________________________________

To the tune "she'll be coming round the mountain"

Have you ever seen the Hibees win the Cup 
Have you ever seen the Hibees win the Cup 
Have you ever seen the Hibees, 
ever seen the Hibees
Ever seen the Hibees win the Cup 

(have you f*** !!!!) ?

_________________________________

Heard at the U-21 game sung by Jambos from Glentoran (sung to the tune "she'll be coming round the mountain")

If you want to go to heaven when you die
If you want to go to heaven when you die
You must wear a maroon bonnet
With F*%k the hibs upon it
If you want to go to heaven when you die

___________________________________

To the "Inkey pinkey Parley-Vous" tune

99 years in a row for  Hibs - parlez-vous
99 years in a row for hibs  - parlez-vous
99 years since they won the cup
We're Jambos and we don't give a fuck
Inkey pinkey Parlez-vous.

________________________________

THE EUROPHANT SONG

OOooooooooohhhhhhhhh
Wee Mickey Cameron scored the goal
that left the Rangers trembling
And Hearts are off to a positive start
trump, trump trump.

The man in the sky was calling
from far far away
you'll win the cup and you'll sing like fuck
believe in me today!

OOooooooooohhhhhhhhh
Stephane the Frenchman scored the goal
that left the Rangers with nothing
And Hearts fans all with a passionate voice
trump, trump trump.

The man in the sky was calling
from far far away
you'll win the cup and you'll sing like fuck
for ever and a day!

OOooooooooohhhhhhhhh
Lockie and Fulton lifted the cup
and the fans went into raptures
And Robbo was there 
with his hand on his heart
trump, trump trump.

The man in the sky is a Jambo
and this is all we'll say
we've won the cup and we're on the up
and the next stop is CALAIS!

__________________________________

E-I, E-I, E-I-O
Up the Premier League we go
When we play in Europe
This is what we'll sing
We are Gorgie, Super Gorgie
Jefferies is our King

_________________________

Still waiting for the first version of mrs Robinson the Simon & Garfunkle song in tribute to our CE!

_______________________________ 

SECTION 11 - POEMS

KING WILLIE - (a tribute)

The Scots were always bramley led As history books have shown
But yet another king is dead Who didn't have a throne

No man i know had bigger heart  Nor Hearts a braver man
He gave his all from whistles start Exciting wherever he ran

For the game he had a burning love Yet even though he's gone
The football history books will show His name will linger on

The thought that from his life he's free Leaves the heart so cold, so chill
But to older fans he'll always be Tynecastle's own King Willie.

_______________________________

99 YEARS AND COUNTING: THEIR MISERY CONTINUES

Neil Armstrong lands upon the moon,  that was a sight to see
The Russian Revolution,  the invention of T.V.
Titanic sank, the World  at War, silent movies are no more
Kings and Queens have come and gone since last the Hibees roared

The aeroplane took to the air,  women got the vote,
The Charleston's been a dance craze but we're not ones to gloat.
Teddy boys were trendy,  Elvis was the King,
But had Hibs won the Scottish cup? Not likely ,not a thing.

The Jubilee it came and went,  John Lennon shot and killed,
When  Hibs won the Lesser Cup, Disney was so thrilled.
They turned out in their hundreds, why all the bloody fuss?
To see a bunch of weirdos 'wi a  Beer Cup on a bus?

Then 1998 arrived,  The Big Cup came to town,
WE HAD WON THE TROPHY 
AND THE HIBEES HAD GONE DOWN.
And so the new millennium,  there's going to be a show,
But Hibees  blew it,  now it's  "99 YEARS IN A ROW".

The century is up this  year.   Last chance,  lets set the scene.
"Telegram for  Alex,  I think it's from the Queen."
Man Lands On Mars, we're on the Moon, Lord Lucan has turned up.
How many more to go,  before the Hibees win the Cup?

Mark Allard/Craig Young  17.4.00

___________________________________

I'M SURE YOU'LL AGREE

I'm sure you'll agree that we've shed many tears
Cos we hadn't won silver for 36 years
But with odds in our favour and players on song
We knew it was time that we won the big one.

A joyous day out that was witnessed by all
The fans in the sunshine were having a ball.
I'm sure you'll agree we went to hell & back
Let's hope now at last that we're on the right track

The tears we now cry I'm sure you'll agree
Are not out of sadness but emotional glee
And with Jimmy and Billy holding the reins
Our team will be a major force once again

I'm sure you'll agree, for some there's just pity
Once more in our shadow, second best in the city
There's only one class team, I'm sure you'll agree
Our heroes from Tynie - H.M.F.C

ANY NEW IDEAS?

CONTACT THE NO IDLE TALK  TEAM NOW!

It doesn't matter how silly you think the song sounds, we can play around with it if it has potential.

Similarly, if you have a song that is not listed here, let us know. You can E-Mail the editor at

zinescene@cableinet.co.uk

or visit our prize-winning web site

http://www.noidletalk.co.uk

which has a page dedicated to new songs,

A VIEW FROM SECTION G

Firstly, thanks for purchasing this wee songbook. As I write this ( November 2000), the new season is well underway and I have had time to reflect on the newly created singing section in the Wheatfield Stand Section G. Sceptics have said it won't work, and on the evidence of the first few home games of the season we have a lot of work to do (but we can't let the sceptics win, can we?). You have bought this booklet, so you must have more than a passing interest in singing at the footy, so here goes.

It's no use only singing when we are winning, and although it is increasingly frustrating to have to sing when the Jambos play scarcely deserves it, that is the time when somebody needs to stand up and be counted. The players thrive on it, and the crowd need to get more involved. Forget grandad sitting next to you, the NO IDLE TALK team believe strongly that Tynecastle should be a place where visiting players find atmosphere, and visiting fans should be showered with abuse. I'm not talking about sectarian abuse, leave that for the west coast scum. We can remind them they are unwashed and unwelcome, plus we have a huge advantage over particularly the west coast teams, in that we have songs which are about our team and not a political event which has no place in football (ask a drunk Rangers fan to sing a Rangers song sometime to see what I mean).

The singing section is something that will without doubt evolve in small stages. The experiment in the Roseburn stand last season at least showed there was a willingness to do something about the dreadful atmosphere. Bringing it into the Wheatfield Stand was essential, however, there are people INSIDE Tynecastle who want it to fail. Hearts have to be congratulated in their efforts to get it off the ground, but we cannot afford to let it fail. I have no idea how many singers moved into Section G this close season, leaving better seats behind. I know myself and 4 others did with a view to increasing the singing. I'm sure a few others have as well.

With this in mind,  I have updated the songbook which now contains nearly double the amount it did when first issued. While some of the songs contained within will probably never see the light of day again ( and rightly so in some cases), it is my hope that some of the younger members of the "choir" will latch onto some of the chants. As a member of a supporters club I know that the supporters club annual dance and the pubs before games were essential forums to air new songs and to basically practice.

I was in the Roseburn Stand last season, sitting pretty near the back when the singing section was supposed to be there. It wasn't a success mainly because Hearts were putting anybody in there, most of whom didn't know there was to be a singing section. However, what I did observe were about 100 young people (under 18) who really didn't know the words to any of  the songs which we were singing, and that just isn't right. As Hearts fans we have as much of a duty to pass on some of our singing culture to the younger fans as we have a duty to remind them of  memorable games and players of the past.

Get the youngsters involved more - it has to help us in the long run, and don't be intimidated by anybody who draws daggers at you when you stand up to sing and they don't. They will  know which of the two is "getting right behind the team"

Enjoy the magazine    -   Craig Young

We hope you enjoyed this catalogue of Hearts songs past and present. Why not write a song or chant of your own, and contact us on our NEW SONG section, and together let's do something to increase the atmosphere!

This section maintained by Craig Young